The Awkwardness of Sasuke
by Hyuugamistress94
Summary: So, by having the most awkward girlfriend ever, does some of that awkwardness rub off on you? Sasuke knows the answer! Sequel to Awkward!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is the sequel to Awkward. If you are reading this and haven't read Awkward, I suggest you read that first. I will be making a lot of references to it and it would just be easier if you understood what was going on. Anyways, enjoy! :D

The Awkwardness of Sasuke

~Awkward Roommates ~

"Are you excited?" My girlfriend asked enthusiastically over the phone. I was about to answer but was interrupted.

"ARGH!" I could hear Sasori bitch cry from here. He was always bitching about something. "You stepped on my foot!" he yelled angrily.

"Well next time move out the Goddamn fucking way!" Hidan yelled at him. Itachi's friends were helping me move into my college dorm and Hidan couldn't see over the things he was carrying.

I sighed. "I'm simply thrilled." I said sarcastically as Hinata giggled.

"You should be excited, my sister works here!" Hidan chirped up before Konan stomped over to him.

"What are you idiots bickering about now?" Konan asked annoyed. "Why can't you two do anything without fighting?!"

"Blood is hard to remove and I'm not paying for any damages you guys make in my dorm." I snapped at them as Kisame barged through the door with . . . a tray of _something_ on it.

"I baked cookies!" He sang as I stared in horror at the burning blue crispy things on the tray. Oh God! Don't tell me I have to eat that?! And why does one of them have a fin?!

"Tobi helped!" Tobi yelled happily. Zetsu walked in looking bummed out.

"I couldn't help." He sighed dejectedly.

"What the hell is that?" Deidara asked as he cringed from the smell.

"And why the fuck does it smell so fucking bad?!" Hidan yelled.

"Get that shit out of here!" Aoi hissed as he held his nose.

"Oh come on," Konan whined as Kisame ran away crying with his tray of cookies. "I wanted to help Sasuke move in and meet his roommates without making a damn scene!"

I sighed as I leaned against the wall. "I really wish you were here." I muttered to Hinata.

"Me too," Hinata sighed dejectedly. "But father wouldn't let me take the day off."

"And if he catches you on the phone I doubt he'll let you off anytime soon." I heard Neji scold his cousin.

I heard Hinata gasp before a rushed "G-Gotta go, love you, bye!" and then I heard the dial tone.

It was still mid-summer and Hinata was working (and this time actually showing up) at the Hyuga Corp. I don't know why, but my college, Konoha University, started early and orientation was later today. I was moving into my five-room suite and currently hoping my roommates would show up _after_ my brother, his girlfriend, and his crazy friends left.

The door opened to reveal a guy with pale skin and short black hair with black eyes. He was looking down at a book "How To Make Friends and Be Social For Dummies".

Oh? Well this certainly looked promising.

Note the sarcasm.

"Giving somebody a nickname will bring you closer to that person and develop friendship." The boy read from the book. He looked up in deep thought before he realized all of us in the crowded common room.

"Hi!" Konan yelled excitedly as she rushed over to him. The boy looked oddly familiar. "Are you Sasuke's roommate?" She asked before grabbing his hand and shaking it. "I'm Konan, Sasuke's brother's girlfriend!" She pointed to Itachi who just stared at the boy. "And that's his brother Itachi!"

"Hello." The boy said as he offered a fake ass smile. "I am Sai." He looked around at Sasori and Hidan who were still rolling around on the floor wrestling with one another and Deidara who was watching them with a grin. He noted Tobi who was waving at him and Aoi was too busy looking in a mirror. Zetsu was hitting his head against the wall in the corner depressed. His eyes then settled on me. "Is this really room 412B?" He asked me.

"The one and only." I answered him.

"Oh darn." He said sadly. "I was hoping I had stumbled into the wrong room. Looks like I really am stuck with you."

I glared at him. Well then. "Trust me, the feeling is already mutual."

"Good then." Sai said relieved. "Now I don't have to pretend to tolerate your presence in this room."

"Well shit," Hidan said from the floor. "He's fucking rude!" Itachi shook his head as he left and his crazy roommates along with Konan followed suit.

I stared with my mouth hanging open at Sai. No one has ever dared to disrespect me before! I took a menacing step forward, ready to beat his ass, but another guy ran into the room brushing pass Sai.

"Come on, come on, come on!" The newcomer cried as he opened up his suitcase and grabbed his laptop. He opened it and we heard little explosions from whatever he was doing on it. "Yes yes yes!" The boy screamed as he danced around with his laptop. "I've obtained the sword Kubikiribōchō!" He sang.

"What are you talking about?" Sai asked him.

The boy blinked as he realized he wasn't alone in the room. He sheepishly closed his laptop and smiled. "I play this online game, "Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist". In the game I have to collect the swordsmen swords." He explained as he brushed some of his white hair that had a weird blue tint aside from his eyes. "And I guess you guys are my roommates."

"Great, another weirdo." Sai sighed.

"What did you just call me?!" The boy yelled enraged.

"A weirdo. Is your hearing poor?" Sai asked and the boy walked up to him and grabbed Sai by the neck of his black shirt.

"Yeah it's poor," He seethed. "Why don't you run that by me again?!"

"Hello everyone!" Another guy greeted us as he entered the room. He was huge, like he had to eat steroids for breakfast or something. "My names Jugo! Pleasure to meet you."

The boy with white hair stared at him before he began to laugh as he let Sai go. "Jugo? What kind of name is that?!"

"Oh yeah?" Jugo said defensively. "And what's your name?!"

"The names Suigetsu." The boy grinned at him.

"My name is Sai." Sai greeted him. They turned to me.

"Sasuke." I replied.

"So back to your lame ass name." Suigetsu snickered. "What, your mom couldn't think of something better after pushing your fat head through?!"

"What did you just say?" Jugo growled, his voice suddenly becoming deeper and a look of pure rage overcame his features. Suigetsu stepped back a bit alarmed.

"Uhhh," he began, as Jugo stepped toward him with a promise of hurt in his eyes.

"Jugo?" someone called out. We looked and saw yet another guy. "Jugo, what's wrong?"

Jugo rage melted away and he ran over to the boy and began hugging him crying.

"Suigetsu was being so mean to me Kimimaro!"

"Is that so?" Kimimaro asked him while gently patting his head. "It's ok, I'll deal with him later." This guy had white hair with bright green eyes and his skin was even paler than Sai's. "Hello, my name is Kimimaro." He said as he looked at the three of us standing opposite him. "And from the looks of it, I make up the last of this suite."

I hate my fucking roommates.

123 321

"Oh don't say that," Hinata scolded me. It was her lunch break and I was currently in my room making my bed. "If you give them a chance, you might even start to like them!" she said optimistically.

"I prefer Naruto and Jiraiya." I deadpanned as I heard running outside my closed door and screaming.

"Help! Jugo is trying to kill me!" Suigetsu screamed frantically.

"You shouldn't have called him fat." Sai chirped up. "Even though he does kind of look like Hulk's fat little brother."

"You just pissed him off even MORE!" Suigetsu yelled and I heard more running feet as if Jugo was now chasing the both of them around the common room we all shared.

"Now Jugo, you can't kill them. Think of how nasty dried blood will look with these curtains?" Kimimaro scolded Jugo.

"They can't be that bad." Hinata laughed. She obviously didn't hear the conversation just now.

I moved quietly toward my door. If I lock it now, I can pretend that I'm dead and they won't be able to check on me!

"Hey Sasuke!" Suigetsu sang obnoxiously loud as he swung open the door. I recoiled in disgust at the bright sky blue speedo he wore instead of the khaki pants he was previously sporting.

"Where the fuck are your pants?!" I yelled at him.

"I'm on the swim team." He snapped. "I don't need pants!" he scoffed at the very idea.

"Giving somebody a nickname will bring you closer to that person and develop friendship." Sai repeated from earlier as he entered my room. He blinked when he noticed Suigetsu's speedo. "I think I'll call you Nemo."

"Why the fuck would you call me that?" Suigetsu demanded.

"Well, one of Nemo's fins are . . . _small_. Therefore I should call you Nemo because of your obvious deformity."

Suigetsu screwed up his face as he tried to think. "Are you trying to say that my penis is sma-"

"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM!" I screamed as I did a roundhouse kick and hit Suigetsu in his gut. He went crashing into Sai and they rolled out my room before falling in a jumbled heap. I slammed the door shut and locked it annoyed.

"What's wrong with Duck Ass?" I could hear Sai asking Suigetsu from outside my door.

I blinked. Why the fuck was he calling me—

"Hello? Sasuke are you there? Hello?" I heard Hinata asking worriedly. Looking down at my phone, I realized I had accidentally pressed mute through the entire ruckus. Heh, I just said ruckus.

"Sorry, you were on mute." I explained after taking her off of it. "My roommates just entered my room without my permission."

"Oh Sasuke, lighten up." She laughed. I blanched, lighten up? _Lighten up_?! With these dumb fucks?!

"Hinata, if I do that I think I might be killed or kill others." I said seriously before hearing a knock on my door. "Hold on," I told her.

"Who is it?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's Kimimaro." He said as he waited patiently for me to open the door. I opened it seeing that he looked to be the most normal.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

He frowned at me. "I was hoping we could be friends since we're obviously rooming with a bunch of . . . uh." He seemed to be at a loss of words. "I don't really know what to call them."

I smirked at this. "Yeah, they're very interesting."

"A little _too_ interesting." Kimimaro laughed. "So how bout it? Truce?" he asked as he held out his hand to me.

"Truce." I confirmed as I shook his hand. Oh look at me, making alliances and shit!

After we shook hands, Kimimaro had a strange look on his face.

"Uh, what?" I asked him. He was making me nervous with those pale green eyes.

He then sneezed about 50 times straight, I swear I saw his lungs fitting through his nose with how hard he was going at it.

"Dude, are you ok?" I asked alarmed as he finally stopped and backed away from me.

"What were you eating before touching me?!" he squawked, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Uh, a cheese burger." I answered confused.

"AND YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS?!" He screamed as his body began convulsing.

"Oh no, Kimimaro is allergic to cheese!" Jugo cried as he ran over to help his friend.

Well shit, I didn't know that.

"Well, is he going to die?" Suigetsu asked as he stood at my door, obviously not giving a shit.

"Wow, I think he's having a seizure. I never saw that before." Sai said impressed. Suigetsu gave him a weird look.

Jugo was digging for something in his pocket before pulling out a big ass needle. "Hope this works!" he yelled before stabbing Kimimaro in his neck while he was foaming at the mouth.

We stared silently as Kimimaro seizure subsided.

"Well is he going to do anything?" Suigetsu asked bored as he answered a text on his cell phone.

"Oh my," Sai replied with a smile on his face. "You're very insensitive."

Really? This was coming from Sai?

"I'm alright," Kimimaro sighed before straightening up. "Thank you Jugo, I don't know why you had a needle in your pocket filled with suspicious liquid, but I thank you."

"You're welcome buddy!" Jugo beamed at his praise. Kimimaro then looked at his arms where Jugo was previously holding him.

"What the fuck is that?!" Suigetsu screamed as we looked at the red and yellow rash forming on Kimimaro's skin.

"Hmm, looks like he's breaking out." Sai smiled at him. "Too bad."

"Oh no, I was eating chocolate before I came in here!" Jugo groaned as Kimimaro eyes rolled back in his head and he fell, his body seemed to be spazzing out on my floor. He better not damage the tiles, I don't wanna pay no damage fees!

"He's _deathly_ allergic to chocolate!" Jugo cried.

I groaned, not this shit again. "I have to go Hinata." I sighed into the phone.

123 321

"Well hello everyone!" A woman with white hair and big frame glasses chirped happily to all the new students at orientation later. She wore a huge cross around her neck and smiled at us joyously. Great, I'm a freshman again. I looked at the huge crowd of students annoyed. Four more years of the same shit I dealt with in high school.

"She just makes me sick." Suigetsu grumbled. "Why she gotta be so happy?" he questioned.

"Shut up," Kimimaro snapped at him sourly. Turns out Jugo have a whole suitcase of needles. Lucky bastard.

"Hey, I have a chocolate bar in my back pocket," Suigetsu threatened Kimimaro. "You sure you wanna go there with me?"

"You don't have a back pocket dumbass." Yup you guessed it. Suigetsu was still wearing the damn speedo. "What you do?" Kimimaro taunted, "Shoved it up your ass?"

"Yeah," Suigetsu yelled as he reached in his ass and really did pull out a chocolate bar.

Oh my God I'm never eating snickers again!

"So think of that while I'm slapping it across your face bitch!" Suigetsu hissed as Kimimaro cowered back in fear.

"My name is Mika Yugakure!" The woman smiled at us. Odd, that name sounded familiar. "At Konaha University, we have something called the Advising Head here! That means I am this class in particular head advisor! Whenever you have a problem-"

"I have a problem!" Jugo screamed as he waved his hand frantically as Kimimaro hid behind him as Suigetsu tried to touch him with the chocolate bar he pulled from his ass. It was melting in his hands and dripping everywhere as Suigetsu waved it around.

"Listen here bitch," Mika snapped at Jugo. "Did I fucking interrupt you? Did I cut you off when you were fucking yelling at me? Did I? Huh?" Everybody stopped and stared in shock at her.

"One thing we don't tolerate here at Konoha University is fucking disrespect." She hissed into the microphone.

"Good Lord," Suigetsu said in awe. "I thought she was nice!"

"So if any of you bitch ass mother fuckers wanna be starting shit up in here with me, tryna disrespect me in my own fucking school, you going get it!" she cursed at us before turning completely normal again. "Now, as I was saying," She went on to say happily.

That's when it clicked. "Oh no," I groaned.

"What?" Sai asked me, Suigetsu had long forgotten to touch Kimimaro as they looked at me. His chocolate bar was long gone, probably ended up on some poor saps shirt.

"She is Hidan's sister." I groaned. No wonder the name sounded so familiar.

"What does that mean?" Jugo asked.

"She's fucking crazy obviously!" Suigetsu yelled. "Hot as fuck. But crazy."

I nodded as we continued to listen to her.

This was going to be an interesting school yea—

"Sasuke, you have shitty chocolate on you!" Sai exclaimed loudly and everybody in the entire room craned their necks back to look at me.

I looked down and notice the fucking snicker bar Suigetsu was waving around trying to touch Kimimaro with, melted all over my shirt.

"Those lumps better be fucking peanuts." I growled before I heard laughter as the entire freshman at Konaha University began laughing at me.

Argh, awkward.

A/N: So I got a couple of messages with people asking if I could write more of Awkward (thank you for those by the way) or create a sequel and I got to thinking and decided to! Oh yes, I really enjoyed writing this story! Can't wait for it to start picking up. Please review if you liked it! I hope my writing style didn't change and it's still on par with how I was writing the original story Awkward. Let me know what you guys think, am I heading in the right direction?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the cover image of this story! The cover image is by TieuYeu and all credit goes to them! I only came up with the plot for this fanfiction story! :D

PLEASE REVIEW!

^_^ Hyuugamistress94 ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

The Awkwardness of Sasuke

~ You're just not hot ~

"Oh, look it's shitty boy!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Suigetsu roared as we walked pass two gossiping students.

"If you don't learn how to shut the fuck up," I sneered as I grabbed Suigetsu by his collar. "I'm going to kill you."

"H-Hey, relax man." Suigetsu stammered as he trembled in my grip.

"Hmm, it's a bit too soon don't you think?" Sai asked us as he walked over.

"Too soon for what?" Suigetsu asked, still in my grip, as he seemed to already be annoyed with Sai's presence.

"You shouldn't be so forward and make-out in public when you just began your relationship."

"WHAT?!" Suigetsu screamed as we moved away from each other.

"Well, you were both close to one another, too close to be "just friends" for men in today's era." Sai explained. He must have been talking about how I grabbed Suigetsu. Well, how else was I going to kick his ass?

"Don't say those type of things." I grumbled at Sai as we continued walking to our dorm. Suigetsu and I had run into each other in the cafeteria and were walking back to the dorm before Sai came along. "My girlfriend is visiting me today."

"You? You have a girlfriend?" Suigetsu asked incredulously as Sai stare at me in shock.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

EXCUSE ME?

"What are you implying?" I asked the two of them as they gave me disbelieving looks.

"Nothing, it's just hard to believe." Suigetsu shrugged.

"How is it hard to believe?!" I snapped, my ego getting the best of me. "I'm super attractive!"

Both of them laughed. "Oh Sasuke, this is college. There are way more attractive guys here! Maybe you were hot shit in high school, but you're in the big leagues now. You need more than a pretty face to get girls." Suigetsu smirked at me.

"Ok, what else do I need then?" I asked him sarcastically. Don't tell me he was going to say that "good personality" shit. Only ugly people used that excuse.

"Lines."

I blinked. "Lines?" I asked to make sure.

"Liiiiiines," Suigetsu drawled while wiggling his eyebrows.

"It is a one-line pick-up that can sometimes be successful, but usually comes off as tasteless and stupid." Sai explained

"Tasteless and stupid?!" Suigetsu yelled. "That's something a virgin would say!"

Sai gave him a confused look. "Is it bad to be a virgin in college?"

We stared at him.

"AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Suigetsu roared at Sai and I chuckled. "Does it snow in the North pole?!" He asked. "Of course it's bad!"

"Huh? It does not say that here." Sai said as he began flipping through _Starting and Sustaining Healthy and Compatible Relationship_s.

"When was that published?!" Suigetsu asked disgusted. "In 1805?!"

I sighed at their weird conversation. "What are you sighing about lover boy?" Suigetsu asked me. "You still think you're the shit? How come there isn't any girls after you?"

I paused. That was actually really strange. I always had a following no matter what. "I told you dumbasses before," I said as our dorm came into view. "I have a girlfriend."

"That doesn't mean anything, this is college!" Suigetsu explained as I opened the door.

"What doesn't mean anything?" Kimimaro asked as we entered the room.

"Sasuke has a girlfriend and he's acting like that means something." Suigetsu replied.

"Oh, I give it two weeks." Kimimaro said, ignoring my glare.

"But then again, none of the girls notices Sasuke anyway, so maybe it could last." Jugo chirped up.

"What are you talking about?" I asked annoyed. "I always get girls!" I'm so oblivious to girls anyways now that I have Hinata. So I just haven't noticed any of them staring at me, but I'm sure they all have been.

"But Sasuke, you lack the 'game' required to get girls." Sai said as he read from his new book "How To Get Bitches" that Suigetsu handed him.

"What game? Have you seen my face? I don't need 'game' to get girls." I scoffed at the very idea. All I had to do was _breathe_ and I got girls.

"I don't know Sasuke," Kimimaro began. He was the oldest of us here seeing that he was a sophomore. "High school is child's play. You're in college now."

"Looks like I gotta show you two the ropes." Suigetsu sighed as he looked at Sai and me.

Oh hell no. I'm not getting girl advice from this bright pink speedo wearing fool! Yeah, his speedo was bright pink today.

"Me? But I already know how to get girls." Sai explained as he held up a book full of notes.

"Oh shut up virgin." Jugo laughed.

"How do you guys know I'm a virgin?" Sai asked. "I could very well be very experienced."

"Bitch please," Suigetsu said with a roll of his eyes. "You're more virgin than the olive oil in my kitchen."

"You do give off some pretty heavy virgin vibes." Kimimaro said as Jugo patted Sai on the back.

I turned to leave from this idiocy but Suigetsu called me back. "Where are you going chicken butt? I have to teach you!"

"I already told you, I can get girls I just don't want to. I have a girlfriend."

"Who is your girlfriend?" Sai asked as he continued flipping through the pages of his new book. He came across a picture for a second and paused as he stared at it before continuing. "When will we meet her?"

"Hopefully, you will never meet her." I said. "And you don't need to know who she is."

"Who is she? America's next top model or something?!" Suigetsu asked sarcastically. "Getting all tight ass for your girlfriend huh?! She must be pretty special! That only proves my point even more!"

"You don't even know what you're talking about." I sighed.

"Well I do, since you have a girlfriend you've lost your touch." Kimimaro informed me.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha, I invented the touch." I boasted.

"Well your girlfriends coming later today right? Until then, why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" Suigetsu grinned at me with his sharp teeth. Ew.

"Depends," I began to think things over. "What is it I have to do?"

"Whoever can pick up the most girls proves to be the master and can hold the title as Lover Sensei and teach Sai how to get girls." Suigetsu demanded. He turned to Kimimaro, "You and Jugo will referee the event."

I shrugged, all I had to do was get girls to go ga-ga over me? That shouldn't be an issue. "Sure, whatever."

"Oh yeah! Let the competition begin!"

123

"Ok, let's go after that girl." Suigetsu said as we ate at the University mini diner. It had everything from burgers to caviar. Weird.

"She looks like," Sai began before flipping a page in his book. "The "Bad Bitch" type."

I glanced at the blonde that was sucking on a lollipop in a white tank top that showed off her breast and the bright orange bra underneath. Not to mention you can clearly see the red cherry thong she wore under her sheer black tights.

"Ok, Sasuke you go first." Kimimaro said. I shrugged before getting up. Easy peasy.

"Excuse me?" she said as I sat down across from her. Oh dear Lord, a tongue piercing too?

"Sorry, didn't see you there." I said before I moved to get up.

"Wait," I inwardly smirk. They always came running back.

"Are you a freshman?" She asked me as I turned to face her.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Ohhh, you're that Sasuke guy right?"

Ah, I see my reputation precedes me.

"That means you're that cute guys roommate!" she went on to finish.

Say what now?!

"Who's cute?!" I asked. I WAS THE CUTEST!

"That guy with the sharp teeth, ahhh what's his name again? Suigetsu!"

"You've got to be kidding me." I deadpanned.

"Hey Sasuke, you got our seats yet?" Suigetsu asked as he approached us. "You take too long," he whispered to me so the girl wouldn't hear before he pretended to just notice her.

"Oh, and you are? I didn't know Sasuke made a friend."

"I'm Tara," she smiled brightly.

"Well Tara, is that a mirror in your pocket?" Suigetsu asked as he leaned over and grinned at her.

"Huh?" Tara asked confused as she blinked big green eyes.

"Because I can see myself in your pants," Suigetsu purred and I swore Tara began swooning in her chair.

"Ohhh Suigetsu!" She giggled as she blushed while motioning for him to sit.

I didn't know what would be ruder. Regurgitating on Tara or Suigetsu. That pick-up line made me sick.

"Are you seriously stupid enough to fall for that?" I asked shocked and Tara looked insulted.

"Hey, don't call her stupid! Tara is smart and beautiful!" Suigetsu sucked up to her and she was back to swooning for him.

I promptly walked back to Kimimaro, Jugo, and Sai.

"Well, Suigetsu is in the lead." Jugo mentioned.

"Shut up." I grumbled.

123

"How about her?" Sai wondered as he pointed to a girl with long brown hair in pigtails who was struggling with her textbooks.

"A nerd?" Suigetsu grinned, "Piece of cake!" He approached her and we heard him ask, "Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you!" he grabbed her hands and I watched as her books fell to the ground.

"Oh," she began, already becoming starry-eyed.

"Hey, I know I'm not a library book, but I can tell when you're checking me out." The girl began to swoon and I couldn't take it any longer.

"Hey Suigetsu," I said as I approached them. "You dropped all of her books." I bent over and picked them up. The girl removed her hands from Suigetsu's and I looked up at her as I handed them to her.

"Here you go."

Now to go in for the kill.

I smirked at her.

The girl eyes bulged out of their sockets before blood squirted from her nose and she fainted.

"Not fair!" Suigetsu screeched as he stepped over the girl's body to get in my face. "Being nice is against the rules!"

"How can that be against the rules?" I asked annoyed as the rest of them walked over.

"Well none of you guys are actually nice." Jugo began.

"You should just be your regular bitchy self. Sasuke, your win is void." Kimimaro interjected.

"What?! That's a shit decision!" Never mind the fact that he just called me bitchy!

"Oohh, you lose more points for yelling at the referee." Jugo tsked.

"She's next!" Sai yelled as he pointed to a girl hurriedly walking over to us.

"Oh no," I began, dreading the reaction.

"Hey-" Temari began to greet me but was interrupted by Suigetsu.

"Hey babe, can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back!"

"Beat it freak!" Temari yelled annoyed before she easily flung him out of the way.

"Well, Sasuke wins by default." Kimimaro sighed as we watch Suigetsu struggle to get his foot out of the potted plant Temari shoved him into.

Temari grabbed me and dragged me away from everyone. "Hey Sasuke, enjoying college? You made so many new friends!"

"Those aren't my friends." I answered quickly.

"Then what were you doing with them?" She asked.

Shit.

"They're just my roommates." I answered quickly.

"Ohhh," Temari said. "But anyways," she began. "You're gonna hang out with us later?"

She was too energetic and was still man handling me. "Let go of my arm." I said as I glared at her. "And hang out with who?"

"Since Hinata is coming to visit me later I thought to bring everybody over to my room so we could hang out like old times."

"She's visiting me, not you." I explained as I removed my arm from her hold. "And we will not be hanging out with you guys."

I began walking away but I could hear Temari ask, "Really? Not even if I blackmailed you?"

"Blackmailed?" I asked as I slowed down my walk and turned to face her again.

"You know, like how you're spending the day flirting with girls?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

When you find yourself in a tight situation with a female, fellas, do this.

DENY THE SHIT OUT OF IT!

"Oh please, Tara told me that you and that white haired freak was flirting with her."

Well Fuck you too Tara. Now I can't deny it.

"It's a competition, I'm not really trying to get them," I tried to explain but Temari cut me off.

"Nope, I don't think so buddy."

I sighed in defeat. I always knew I would hate her. "What do you want?"

"For you two to stop by my dorm!" She smiled sweetly as she handed me a note card with her dorm building and room on it. She grinned at me evilly as she brushed pass.

Great. Just great.

123

"Baby you're so pretty they should call you _mines_,"

"Ohhhhhh Suigetsu!"

I walked away as he "smooth talk" some brunette. That line didn't even make sense.

"Suigetsu 20, Sasuke 1." Jugo said as I walked over to them.

"I think it's safe to say that Suigetsu won." Kimimaro said while looking at me in disapproval.

"This doesn't make any sense! How could girls like that," I pointed at his speedo, "In comparison to all of this," I said pointing at myself. I was hot, my body was hot, my hair was freaking sex on hot baby oil- basically I was super hot and these girls here must have been on some serious crack. Serious.

"Well Sasuke," Jugo shrugged. "You're just not hot."

_You're just not hot._

_ Just not hot._

_ Not hot_.

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"You're the counselor?" I asked suspiciously as I walked into the counselors office only to find Mika lounging on the couch reading a magazine.

"Yes, that would be me!" She smiled.

"Really?" I asked. "You're not, I mean, . . . do you really have a degree in counseling?"

"Listen bitch," Mika snapped at me. "Get in the chair and talk about your fucking feelings."

I awkwardly sat down in the chair behind her desk.

"Well, what's wrong?" She asked as she looked through _Cosmo_.

"Aren't I'm suppose to be on the couch?"

She glanced at me from the magazine. "Yeah, and I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wished he wore protection, we don't get what we want!"

Um . . . ok.

She sighed before getting up and we switched positions.

"My friends think I'm not hot." I told her.

"So when did you realize you weren't hot?" Mika asked as I got comfortable on the couch as she sat at her desk.

"I AM hot!" I snapped. "It's just everybody else here is too blind to see it!"

Mika gave me a look, "Who the fuck are you yelling at?!" she snapped as she stood up and threw her clipboard at me, which I dodged by rolling off the couch.

Jesus Woman!

"Listen here, you're in denial! You aren't that fucking hot! Shit man!" She then settled back into her chair and pushed up her glasses. "By the way how is my brother Hidan?" she asked sweetly.

I gaped at her. She had to be bipolar or something. "Sasori is still trying to kill him."

"Oh, that's nice." She said before grabbing another clipboard. "So Sasuke, when did you realize you weren't hot?"

I climbed back onto the couch. "When I came to college." I grumbled reluctantly.

"Someone doesn't just suddenly lose their good looks." Mika chastised me. "Unless they were in a terrible accident. Were you in a terrible accident?"

". . . no."

"Ok, so when did you start losing girls attention?"

"In high school I guess." I began really thinking about it. "Sakura and even Kin eventually stopped trying to get with me." I surmised. "And Kin's been after me for years."

"Why?"

"It began ever since I started dating Hinata."

"How long have you two been going?"

"Months now," I realized. It didn't seem that long; time just flew by whenever I was with her.

"Aha!" Mika screamed, jolting me from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, giving her a suspicious look.

"You've lost your touch." She said as she leaned more comfortably in her chair.

"Impossible." I said. "I'm Sasuke Uchiha, I don't lose-"

"Well you lost this sweetie!" She grinned at me. "I mean come on, look at the facts. You lost to a guy that wears a speedo to class."

"Yeah, isn't there a rule against that? Indecent exposure?" I asked her.

"What are you talking about?" Mika asked appalled. "His legs are _so_ toned."

"That's not what I-"

"But anyways, maybe it's just your generation, but a guy in speedo should not win against," She paused as she looked at me. "I guess you could be Edward."

"Edward?" I asked as I sat up and glared at her. "Edward from _Twilight_?"

"Yeah, yeah!" She said excitedly. "That's it!"

I gave her a look. "You're not a real counselor are you?" She was making me feel worst.

"No, no I'm not." She said regrettably.

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"Hi Sasuke, I've been looking for you everywhere." Sai greeted me as I entered the dorm.

I stared at him as he was siting on the floor in front of the TV. It looked like he hadn't moved in a while.

"No you weren't." I said with a glare.

He shrugged. "That's true. But I do need you."

"Why?" I asked.

"You have to train me to get girls."

"I thought Suigetsu had to do that." I snapped bitterly. Since I wasn't "hot".

"Yeah, but he's not cool. I wouldn't want Nemo to teach me anyways."

I sighed as I walked pass him, "You don't need to get girls, when the right one comes it'll all fall into place." No matter how many awkward situations arises.

"Well, can you help me speed that process up?" He inquired as I opened the door to my room.

"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" I asked him.

"No, I'm not."

"Fine," I grumbled. "Now get out, I'll teach you later."

"Ok Lover Sensei!"

"Don't call me that!"

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"I can't believe this." Suigetsu gaped at Sai and me sitting in the living room. I was trying to tell him how to get girls.

"What Nemo?" Sai asked.

"I'm supposed to be teaching you!" He protested.

"Yeah, but you're really lame." Sai replied. "So duck ass will teach me instead."

Duck ass? Who is this Du-

"Well fine," Suigetsu sniffed interrupting my thoughts. "But you can't just teach him without getting any experience."

"Then what do you suggest I do?" I asked annoyed. I wanted to get this over with so I could prepare for meeting up with Hinata.

"Take him out, duh."

Kimimaro wandered in. "Are we going out?"

"Yeah!" Suigetsu grinned at him.

"No." I snapped. "Just me and Sai."

"What?! We can't tag along?" Jugo asked as he opened the door to his room and peered at us. Nosey bastard.

"Where are we going?" Kimimaro asked.

"Let's go to a club." Sai said. "I've never been to one before."

"There won't be any clubs open this early." I told him. It was only 8 o'clock.

"I know one where it's always open!" Suigetsu offered.

"The one nearest here?" Jugo asked as he walked over to us. "But that's-"

"The only option we have so shut up!" Suigetsu snapped at him.

"I can't go, Hinata could be here any-" I began but Suigetsu grabbed at me as we headed out the door.

"It's only for a second, and it's close by!" he insisted.

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After about an _hour_ later, we made it to our destination.

"What?" Suigetsu asked in response to the glare I was giving him. "Traffic is terrible here."

"We took the _subway_." I hissed. I grabbed him by his collar. "I'm starting to doubt this plan. You're never helpful so why are you helping?" I snapped at him.

"I'm always helpful!" he insisted as he tried to get out of my grip. "Besides, we came all this way! And if your girlfriend was looking for ya, she'd call!"

I let him go since there was some truth to his words. "Fine, let's just go in and get out as fast as we can."

There wasn't a very long line, so we entered. I swear I caught the really muscular bouncer checking me out as we walked in.

"What kind of club is this?" Kimimaro wondered. "They didn't ask for I.D.'s."

"We look old enough." Suigetsu shrugged it off. "Quit complaining, we'll let Sasuke work his magic while the rest of us get drinks!" he grabbed Jugo and Kimimaro by the shoulders and dragged them away.

"Good luck Sasuke~~!" he yelled over his shoulder as he left with Jugo and Kimimaro.

"Since we're getting drinks I'm letting you guys know I'm allergic to most fruits, so no fruit beverages, ok?" I heard Kimimaro tell Suigetsu.

Sai and I were standing in the middle of the dance floor. I sighed.

"Pick out a girl already." I snapped at him. I pulled out my phone to check to see if Hinata called, but someone bumped into me from behind, which caused my phone to fall to the ground. "Dammit," I muttered before I moved to scoop it up fast before someone stepped on it. _Jesus, these women feet are huge_! I thought as I grabbed for my phone just as some massive high-heeled foot was about to crush it.

"Oops I'm sorry," a voice was giggling at Sai. "But it's a good thing I'm so clumsy or else I wouldn't have met your friend!"

"Uhhh, Sasuke," Sai was calling me. I dusted my phone off and walked back over to the girl that bumped into me.

"Wha-AH?!" I jumped back after looking at her face. "What are you?!"

"What?!" The woman who had gray fucking skin hissed at me. "I'm what makes wet dreams boy!"

First of all, I had to crane my neck up to look at the woman-she was as tall as a man! And kinda built like one. I looked at her outfit that didn't quite fit—

"She's a he." Sai whispered in awe.

"They call me Venom, cuz my kisses are poisonous." She (he?) crooned at me as he held my chin up to get a better look. "Wanna taste? Only five dollars."

"Aaaeeeyygghhhhh!" I screamed as I slapped her hand away. I gaped in pure horror as I stared at gray ashen skin and beady eyes staring back at me. It looked like she went hunting for the cheetah print dress she was wearing and those God awful pink high heels made me gag. Were they snakeskin print? Egad!

I felt where she touched me and grimaced. Great. Now I had to go get my chin removed.

"Don't be like that gor-_juhs_," she purred at me. "That hard to get personality is _so_ overrated!"

"Let's go Sai," I began but when I looked around he was nowhere to be found.

My eyes narrowed. This had Suigetsu written all over it.

"Need a ride home hunny?" _Venom_ asked me and I turned to glare at him.

"No." I said before I pushed through the crowd only to realize they were all MEN dressed as women. Again, someone bumped into me and my phone went flying. I had to shove people out of my way to get to it. I bent over to pick it up but someone's foot sent it skidding across the floor. _Fuck it, I don't need a phone_.

I then heard someone whistle behind me.

"Damn, back that ass up!" and then someone had the audacity to spank my ass.

"Hey!" I yelled feeling violated.

"Feisty," some hulking man in a mini skirt smirked at me. "Just how I like 'em!" I stared at his huge biceps before slowly backing away.

I was going to kill Suigetsu.

I walked up to the bar pissed. I called the bartender over who was probably the only girl in the club.

She sighed when she looked at me. "All the pretty boys are gay."

"What?" I asked appalled. "I'm not gay!"

"Then why would you come to a gay/cross dressing club?" she asked suspiciously.

My mouth dropped. That explained so much. "Never mind that," I snapped. "Have you seen a short white haired ugly son of a bitch?"

"You mean Milkshakes?" She asked before pointing behind her to a stage where a short white haired man in fire engine red stilettos was working a pole.

Oh. My. God. Becky.

"Hey baby! Come get some of this milk!" Milkshakes called out to me while blowing kissy faces and his hands was making "jerking off" motions.

I stormed outside pissed as hell. Suigetsu and those other fucks were nowhere to be seen.

Great. Now I had no way of getting back to the dorm. I was rushed out the dorm so I didn't get a chance to grab my wallet and Suigetsu had paid for my token for the subway. I now had no way to pay for a cab and no phone to call anyone.

I sighed as I sat on the curb. Before I began the walk back, let's plot Suigetsu's death.

BEEP BEEP!

I looked up to see a purple Mercedes Benz with a snakehead on the hood. Venom grinned at me from the driver's seat.

"Need a ride babes?" His tongue came to flick out when he licked his lips as he stared at me without blinking.

_Ugh_. I thought knowing I had no other choice.

Awkward.

A/N: Yes yes yessss I know! I'm such a douche for this extremely late update! Writer's block was crazy! I just wanted to make this really funny for you guys *sob* but anyways.

PLEASE REVIEW

^_^ Hyuugamistress94 ^_^


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